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Examples

James' Foolishness

Recall the story of James, his crying daughter, and his sleeping wife. He became very frustrated and blaming of his wife when he refused to act as he felt he initially should. When it was time to wake up, James was still living in the destructive world he had created for himself during the night and that was evident in his thoughts and attitudes towards his wife the following morning.

James' wife could have picked up on his attitude, taken offense by it, and moved into a resistant and destructive world of her own towards him. She did not. She was living constructively. She sensed that something was wrong and she asked him openly and honestly about it. James, continuing to live in his destructive world, professed that everything was "FINE" prior to leaving for work.

It was not until later that James was willing or able to step out of his resistant and destructive attitudes towards his wife. It took giving up his resentments and letting go of his justifications for his inaction to realize how foolish he had been. A moment of clarity came when he realized it was his own fault he was feeling the way he did. His wife had done nothing to make him feel that way. He realized what a difficult transition it was for his wife to have a new baby to care for and all the work that entails. He realized that if he had simply done what he felt he should have by helping his daughter, he probably would have been able to fall back to sleep quickly and never would have accused his wife of being so inconsiderate.

Copyright 2008, by the Contributing Authors. Cite/attribute Resource . admin. (2005, November 28). Your Partner. Retrieved January 08, 2011, from Free Online Course Materials — USU OpenCourseWare Web site: http://ocw.usu.edu/Family__Consumer____Human_Development/Marriage___Family_Relationships/Your_Partner_11.html. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License Creative Commons License